the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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