Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
