i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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