Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
