so explain again why im purple
no
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
FUCK WHALES
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
