I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
