my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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