Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
