He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
