So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Two words: nipple clamps
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