i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
