yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
