Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
