Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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