Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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