An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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