Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
