I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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