what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
