Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
