her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
