this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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