thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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