I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
