Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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