so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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