I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
