before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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