He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
