omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
