I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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