i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am mentally ready for anal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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