So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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