Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
