They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
