My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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