I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
a search helicopter?!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
