just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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