Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
