If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
