the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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