I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are the jesus of drinking
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
