so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
