I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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