last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
