Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
