I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
