hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
