it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
