I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
