Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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