She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
